High school for me was a time that i took to discover who i
am and what i stand for. Heal some wounds and live to tell about it. Some
people don't find things out until they're older. It kind of makes me glad that
i found that out early on. Sometimes i feel like I’ve grown up too quick. I
think we all feel that way when we're adults; too old to have fun and too young
to be grown.
Before graduation and prom i was just so worried about
graduating. I was just so tired mentally with all the stress. There wasn't a
day where i wasn't stressed or driving home with an headache. The people around
me weren't who I thought they were; all my friends became distant shadows. Even
the people who I've helped turned their back on me. That's where my trust
issues stem from.
Towards the end of high school I started to realize a lot of
things. For example; I had a gym class and it was this boy named Thomas McGee.
At the time I didn't know his name at the time; I just seen his face. One day
during gym class me and Sandy was working out and we walked passed him and he
said something to me that I didn't hear but Sandy did.
Sandy said "Did you hear what he said?"
I said "No I didn't hear him say anything. What did he
say?"
She said "He said 'You're a bitch'"
I spoke in such shock because I don't know him and I haven't
spoken to him. I was so confused because I couldn't understand the reason why
he would say that. So I said to Sandy "Well, I’ll listen a little closely
next time we walk pass him."
So we proceed to walk around the gym. When we walked passed
him I heard him say it.
I said to myself "Don't get mad Jae. Graduation day is
near. You'll be out of this hell hole in a couple of weeks."
So the class was over and I went to the locker room. I
stayed in my gym clothes because gym class was my last class. Everybody was in
line waiting for the bell to ring. I walked pass him and he said
"You little bitch!"
and I said tense tone "You need to check your dick
before you start to talk about anybody being a bitch!"
He seemed so confused and said "I need to whip out my
dick?!"
I was frustrated so I began to repeat what I said then I
stopped myself and I said "I'm not going to repeat myself. I'm not a tape
recorder where you can just rewind me. I'm done!"
I walked of agitated and annoyed because I was so tired of
people talking to be recklessly. I had a lot of built up anger towards people.
I was bullied for years and for a split second I asked myself
"Why does this keep happening to me? I'm so
tired."
At the time I was nineteen years old. I didn't have time to
cry because I was so above and beyond angry.
The bell rang and I proceeded to call my friend Ashley. I
was telling her what's going on until he walked pass me and called me out my
name for the third time. A split second after that I just blacked out. I didn't
fight him but I did yell at the top of my lungs and just let my anger take
over. I was screaming all through the hallways, slamming my locker until I got
outside to smell the city air then I calmed down. Once I got into the car with
my mom she asked "Are you okay?"
I quickly said "I'm fine." I’m sure that my mommy
could still sense the annoyance and the frustration off of me. It was an odor
to it.
The next day of school I walked in and the security guards
knows me because I don't get into trouble. I've never been suspended in my
life. The female security guard pulled me aside after going through the metal
detector and said "I need to talk to you."
In a concerned tone I said "Why? What did I do?!"
she said "Don't worry; we just need to talk."
So she took me to her office and proceeded to ask me
"What happened yesterday? I mean whit you and Thomas."
I asked her "Who is Thomas?" confused as ever.
She said "The boy you gotten into the argument with
after school."
I said "Oh! His name is Thomas?! I never knew his name
until now because I never talked to him. I just know him by his face."
The security guard goes to tell me "Well, his mother
called me yesterday saying that you sexually harassed him."
When she said that my eyes gotten bigger than golf balls in
shock. She proceeds to say "His mother said that you told him that he
needed to whip out his dick."
I stopped her and said "No! That's NOT what I
said."
She asks "Well, what did you say?"
I said "I said that he needs to CHECK HIS DICK before
he starts to talk about somebody being a bitch."
so I proceed to tell her the entire story and she concluded
by saying "So basically you confronted him."
I said in a annoyed tone "Yes!" so I went on to
speak my mind because I was tired of being bullied. A person saying that
someone sexually harassed him or her is an serious offense; people get sued for
that. I was nineteen years old. I was legal at that point. I wasn't about to
get sued and possibly go to jail because of someone lying on me and bullying
me.
I went on to say to the security guard "I've been in
this school for 4 years straight; haven't gotten into it with anybody until
now. Do you find it kind of odd that people are bullying me?" I wanted her
to understand that I am the victim and I’m tired of it.
After that day I looked down on him as a person because he
hit below the belt when it was unnecessary.
After nineteen years of being bullied at the time. I got
tired; I’ve reached my breaking point. It makes me want to keep my distance
from people as much as I love to socialize. If Thomas said that I sexually
harassed him then what will be the next extreme, Rape?! Now I have to watch out
for people who plan to discredit my character; it's difficult. It’s bad enough I
had to deal with bullying on the streets. I got lucky that time; I could have
been dead in broad daylight. Mind you; this is only one of many stories. I'm
twenty four now; I can only expect the worst. It's a depressing thing when you
have no sunlight coming through after your dark storms; just a gloomy fog.
Bullying is not just confined to schools and children and teens. It has spread-ed to colleges, adults and among social media. It saddens me to see countless suicides among teens. I almost committed suicide but i had a friend at the time who snapped me of out it. In a sense i'm starting to believe that bullying is a mental disease that society refuses to have a cure to. We will learn; soon i hope.
