tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71597367772352862312024-03-13T15:24:15.239-07:00ENT 105 OnlineAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-75821720103559120782013-04-22T08:03:00.000-07:002013-04-22T08:03:20.844-07:00Mirror Mirror<w:sdt contentlocked="t" id="89512093" sdtgroup="t"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr><w:sdt docpart="E4D488494D04488D8F76FD60C7FAFD70" id="89512082" storeitemid="X_2AA78DF8-0511-4985-88E5-6BE3F57D33E6" text="t" title="Post Title" xpath="/ns0:BlogPostInfo/ns0:PostTitle"></w:sdt></span>
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Mirror Mirror<o:p></o:p><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr></div>
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April/2013<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dear Diary,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Who is
the fairest of them all? Not me. As cliché as it may sound; I think we’ve all
been there with ourselves at some point in time; some people are still there as
adults. We don’t accept or love all of ourselves enough and/or the proper way.
We only like what has gotten other people’s attention; like our eyes, lips,
body and asses just to name a few. We all have that feeling as a human being
trying to find what makes us well, us. Insecurity and/or low self-esteem seems
to be a thing that looked down upon; especially in the urban community. How can
one insecure man/woman telling another insecure man/woman how to build their
low self-esteem; it’s a living contradiction to us as imperfect, living
organisms. I don’t believe in being perfect or perfection; too many people are
getting familiar with that word and use it so casually & loosely as if it
has a valid meaning to a human being. Yes, it is an actual word but we give
most words known to human so much power that it hurts our feelings and breaks
down our self-esteem. Well, there isn’t a rule book titled ‘How to Build Your
Self-Esteem’ available at every bookstore outlet and e-book seller. As that old
saying goes ‘…everything starts at home’ and I am a strong believer of that.
The common thing among society (especially urban societies) is that we set
examples in our homes for our children to see. If a young child sees his father
abusing his mother 9 times out of ten he will have it unconsciously embedded is
his mind to lead by example; and it won’t stop until one child says to himself
‘that’s not who I am. That’s not who I want to be.’ If we live in a broken or
unhealthy environment then we will be broken people; until we take the
initiative to fix ourselves; in most situations we are stuck fixing ourselves.
We all have to heal no matter how small or big the gash is.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When
I was a kid I went through that heavily. I had so many people in my ear from
family to friends at such a young age telling me that I should/shouldn’t do
this or that and I should be like this and that. For someone who is in the
process of discovering who they are as a person; having those kinds of people
in your ear on a daily basis can be very stressful. It was bad enough that I
was getting bullied at school and in the streets; now I got to deal with
criticism at home. By golly gosh! Geez! But over time I learned to love myself
and I can’t fit nobody’s expectations but my own. I tell myself everyday ‘I
wake up to myself and go to sleep with myself’ basically saying that the only
opinions that should matter is my own when it comes to myself; I’m my own worst
enemy; and I’ll be damned if I let the enemy get the best of me. From then on
out my confidence build to a 99% so, when I look in the mirror now I ask myself
‘who is the fairest of them all?’ and I always answer me; now this 1% I’m
working on is this minor social anxiety. Lol!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gender (nor sexual orientation)
isn’t even a primary factor when it comes to the way that we think of
ourselves; even the most manliest (or flamboyant) man has the biggest
insecurity about himself; most men are too caught up in their pride to admit
it; that they’re human and isn’t secure with themselves. Even the most
‘confident’ woman is the most broken woman; women have pride in them too;
sometimes too much pride at times that it comes off as unruly, ugly and
unattractive to others. Lol! It just goes to show you that we all are work in
progress and that we all ask ourselves that one question…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“Mirror, mirror one the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-91104724985511994552013-04-15T05:50:00.001-07:002013-04-15T05:50:30.438-07:00Mirror Mirror<br />
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April 22, 2013</div>
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Dear Diary,</div>
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Who is the fairest of them all? Not me. As cliché as it may sound; I think we've all been there with ourselves at some point in time; some people are still there as adults. We don’t accept or love all of ourselves enough and/or the proper way. We only like what has gotten other people’s attention; like our eyes, lips, body and asses just to name a few. We all have that feeling as a human being trying to find what makes us well, us. Insecurity and/or low self-esteem seems to be a thing that looked down upon; especially in the urban community. How can one insecure man/woman telling another insecure man/woman how to build their low self-esteem; it’s a living contradiction to us as imperfect, living organisms. I don’t believe in being perfect or perfection; too many people are getting familiar with that word and use it so casually & loosely as if it has a valid meaning to a human being. Yes, it is an actual word but we give most words known to human so much power that it hurts our feelings and breaks down our self-esteem. Well, there isn’t a rule book titled ‘How to Build Your Self-Esteem’ available at every bookstore outlet and e-book seller. As that old saying goes ‘…everything starts at home’ and I am a strong believer of that. The common thing among society (especially urban societies) is that we set examples in our homes for our children to see. If a young child sees his father abusing his mother 9 times out of ten he will have it unconsciously embedded is his mind to lead by example; and it won’t stop until one child says to himself ‘that’s not who I am. That’s not who I want to be.’ If we live in a broken or unhealthy environment then we will be broken people; until we take the initiative to fix ourselves; in most situations we are stuck fixing ourselves. We all have to heal no matter how small or big the gash is.</div>
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When I was a kid I went through that heavily. I had so many people in my ear from family to friends at such a young age telling me that I should/shouldn’t do this or that and I should be like this and that. For someone who is in the process of discovering who they are as a person; having those kinds of people in your ear on a daily basis can be very stressful. It was bad enough that I was getting bullied at school and in the streets; now I got to deal with criticism at home. By golly gosh! Geez! But over time I learned to love myself and I can’t fit nobody’s expectations but my own. I tell myself everyday ‘I wake up to myself and go to sleep with myself’ basically saying that the only opinions that should matter is my own when it comes to myself; I’m my own worst enemy; and I’ll be damned if I let the enemy get the best of me. From then on out my confidence build to a 99% so, when I look in the mirror now I ask myself ‘who is the fairest of them all?’ and I always answer me; now this 1% I’m working on is this minor social anxiety. Lol!</div>
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Gender (nor sexual orientation) isn’t even a primary factor when it comes to the way that we think of ourselves; even the most manliest (or flamboyant) man has the biggest insecurity about himself; most men are too caught up in their pride to admit it; that they’re human and isn't secure with themselves. Even the most ‘confident’ woman is the most broken woman; women have pride in them too; sometimes too much pride at times that it comes off as unruly, ugly and unattractive to others. Lol! It just goes to show you that we all are work in progress and that we all ask ourselves that one question…</div>
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<em>“Mirror, mirror one the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?”</em></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-25136368196116151952013-04-11T04:00:00.000-07:002013-04-11T08:35:30.939-07:00Lupus: The Unpredictable Disease<br />
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In 1995 I lost a loved one to this disease. I lost my sister; Felicia Patrice Yelder to Lupus. I was 7 at the time I believe. When she was diagnosed she really hesitated to talk to me about it. She cared for my emotions as a kid. I think she knew that if she told me that she was sick that it would hurt me and I knew that she didn't want to do that. I still remember to this day the first time she took me with her to a doctors visit at Henry Ford Hospital here in Detroit. I remember her telling me</div>
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<em>"Stay right here while i go in the doctors office. Don't go anywhere."</em></div>
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It was a very sunny weekday; we rode down there in her beige Mitsubishi car that had the automatic seat belts (I found those more useful than the seat belts now. Lol!). I always liked that feature of that car. I will never forget her advice and the things she drilled into my head. One day she told me</div>
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<em>"What is your job?"</em></div>
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I said so confused <em>"...I don't know. What is my job fede?"</em></div>
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She said <em>"Your job is school. Going to school is a job. Treat school as if it's a job. Make sure you stay in school."</em></div>
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and ever since then I've held school & my education close to me and take it so serious. I get so disappointed with myself when I get a bad grade in a class; a lot of people think that I'm too harsh on myself but I always tell people who don't understand me 'I have my reasons'. When I get a terrible grade in a class It encourages me to do better. I guess that's why I'm so smart now. Lol! But in all seriousness; it taught me to never give up; no matter what's stopping me; remember to never give up. She was the one who taught me how to read and write; she even taught me my first big words to spell; "education" and "encyclopedia". My first word was my cousin name; Darren. She has this encyclopedia of hers that she used in college and eventually my mommy gave it to me. I remember she used that book a lot while she was in college. </div>
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In the days of her being sick I remember going to see her a second time. She and I walked around the hospital (now that I think about it; this reminds me when I use to walk around with my aunt Alice at the adult foster care home. She had Alzheimer's disease.) talking and catching up. I remember asking her</div>
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<em>"Fede! When are you coming home?"</em> In a concerned tone</div>
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She said <em>"I will be home soon."</em></div>
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Then I said <em>"When you get home can we go shopping together? So we can spend time together."</em></div>
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She said with a smile <em>"Yes."</em></div>
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Then my mommy came back and then we left. That was the last time I believe I seen her alive. If I remember right; a week later we had to rush to the hospital because she was in critical condition. I remember seeing her through a crack in the door with her surgical cap on and a big blue tube in her mouth. I was so stunned that I couldn't do anything but look and stare; and I did so until the doctor closed the door. I remember looking down the hallway and seeing the hallway filled with a bunch of people from end to end with family and friends. A few minutes later the doctor came out of the room I was looking in and told my mother that she was pronounced dead. I believe it was around 9 or 10pm. It was very dark and raining. I remember either my mother or her boyfriend at the time Dontae was holding my hand tight when the news was delivered. I heard the news and I was just in shock. Even at that age I knew what "pronounced dead" meant. I was so stunned that once I got in the backseat of her car with Dontae I just cried. I remember seeing rain on the car window while we was driving home. Dontae held me close and said</div>
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<em>"Everything's gonna be okay."</em></div>
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while he was crying too. I can only imagine the emotions behind a man who loses his girlfriend; mind you that Dontae and Felicia been together for YEARS.</div>
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I remember that my mommy was so depressed with making the funeral arrangements; I even remember helping her. Everywhere my mommy went, I when right along with her. We buried her in her high school prom dress. It was like this 18th century kind of dress; it was HUGE; it was red and white. I remember telling my mommy to pick that dress because it was so pretty; besides that what girl wouldn't want to be buried on her prom dress?</div>
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When the funeral came we had the family hour first; her body was in the house that we still live in today. My mommy lived in that same house for over 50 years I believe. I remember not talking to anybody; I felt so numb and what everybody was saying to me was just like a TV put on mute; I seen them talking but didn't hear them. I was still grieving. I pulled up a chair next to her casket; and just sat there and stared. Some people put cards in the casket; I picked'em up and read them to her. As creepy as it sounds; I was too young to understand the reality of everything; it was the first time I've grieved over someone. It was the last time I will see her so I made sure I soaked it all in. It's so hurtful how I forgot how her voice sounds.</div>
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With my mommy; I've never seen a woman as hurtful as my mother. My mommy always told me</div>
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<em>"A mother should never bury her children; the child should bury her parents. It's hurtful for a mother to bury her child."</em></div>
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As I gotten older I understood more and more and more of what she was saying; was seeing a lot of people who are or were parents in my neighborhood bury their child; even in high school; you would hear about someone getting shot a couple of times a month. It's depressing to be around that.</div>
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Anyway, moving along; as I gotten older I became more aware of what Lupus is. At that time it was known that only women received Lupus but, as years go by men started to get it as well but women of color are 2-3 times more likely to develop Lupus according to Lupus.org</div>
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Subliminally, my sister has taught me that education is the key to success, be strong, take care of yourself and have fun.</div>
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I hope that my story brings awareness to this disease and get others to share their stories of someone who have or had Lupus; not all of the people survived but remember what they've left, love. We all are victims of Lupus; even the families.</div>
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In Memory of</div>
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Felicia <em>"Fede"</em> Patrice Yelder</div>
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-Justice Delore</div>
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-Open Diary</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-91175316813725735622013-04-09T21:45:00.000-07:002013-04-09T21:45:09.662-07:00Candy With a Side of Childhood<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOS8PDrvOcxO9NOCc6hdxFebJdcosAMvwz1e807kOlsuFCtl2Rfhc9vUN1v1R7OqPV9HArmN6uGZ3qglHqcbQJMVxMGWf6_h5kE8sN22uuJlaypRelQzlabo4gBMJxgVKEs8a_9ICex1g/s1600/IMG_0619.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOS8PDrvOcxO9NOCc6hdxFebJdcosAMvwz1e807kOlsuFCtl2Rfhc9vUN1v1R7OqPV9HArmN6uGZ3qglHqcbQJMVxMGWf6_h5kE8sN22uuJlaypRelQzlabo4gBMJxgVKEs8a_9ICex1g/s320/IMG_0619.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
When i was younger i use to eat a ton of candy. That's why i have so many fillers now. Lol! But Now & Later candy was one of my all time favorite candy to pick up at the store. Me and my friends hated it when they was hard and we use to put'em in the microwave to soften em up so we can just chew'em up. Sometimes we would even exchange'em or even put'em in our pockets so they can get warm and chewy. Lol! Childhood memories. Whats your favorite childhood candy?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-69933984500257229412013-04-09T20:54:00.002-07:002013-04-09T20:54:25.612-07:00"Death To Love"<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> This past week i've been very busy and sick but i'm back and ready to work; how about you?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px;">Well, i had an doctors appointment today. My doctor said I should go out & date someone and I’m at that age where i should be looking for someone to start a life with but, I hate dating plus, I’m not that interesting for someone to date; lets be realistic here. My interests are completely different than other people my age. BUT she’s right; I’m 24 next thing you know I’m 30 years old. I can’t stay buried in school and </span><a href="http://www.tumblr.com/blog/jopendiary#" id="_GPLITA_0" in_rurl="http://i.trkjmp.com/click?v=VVM6MzY0OTI6NjpteSBjYXJlZXI6ZTE2NTc2MWRkMWNkMjJlNjMzYTNjNTZhYWI2YTM0Mjk6ei0xMjY2LTEzMDA2Njp3d3cudHVtYmxyLmNvbTo0MTAxMzowNTNjYjRjOTQ2NTk3ZTczMWQxMWZmZDMzMzA3NWI5NA" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline: none 0px;" title="Click to Continue > by Deals Plugin Extension">my career</a><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> forever.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> She also said that I need to learn how to take care of myself and that I can’t look after my mommy, my uncle among others forever; I have to put myself first. Maybe I need a man who will teach me how to put myself first or a man who will put me first. *sighs* see, this is why I try to leave my love life alone and stay away from anyone who have male genitals; it’s nothing but a distraction. It’s too much. I’m just not expecting nothing from love; my love life is such a bag of randomized mystery. You just don’t know what you’re gonna get so, I’m expecting the worst. Sad to say but it's true.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> I guess my bad experiences are overshadowing my good ones. How do i do that? How do i create good moments in my love life? Ugh! I need a </span></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.265625px;">psychiatrist. Lol!</span></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> I do plan on getting out more this spring and summer. I don't get out much; well, at all to be honest. I just walk around with my music and stay to myself. I'm completely different as an adult than who i was as a kid. I was so social & interested in so many things and now as an adult i push people away and i can't trust others.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.27272605895996px;"> It's so sad that i did that to myself. Like they say; things that happen to you as an </span><span style="line-height: 17.265625px;">adolescent can take effect into your adulthood and it did. My mommy was telling me that i have a temper; in which i don't agree on. I just hold my tongue on a lot of things and i can tolerate a lot. Maybe my issue is that i hold too much in but when i am in need to let loose nobody's there to listen; everybody is too busy. What do i do? I've learned that nobody is going to be there for you but yourself. It might seem selfish to most but i don't have another logical choice to choose from.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica Neue, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17.265625px;"> Doing everything on my own is a fixed habit i developed because i can't depend on others to help me when i need it the most. I never came across someone who is reliable. I told my doctor today that majority of the people who comes my way just want to use me; i never had anybody who was there just to give support or even a friendship. It's always people taking from me when i have nothing worth taking; It's frustrating for me. I'm always building myself back up. You've got to keep yourself happy as much as possible physically, mentally and emotionally by all means; nobody likes a debbie downer; not even me. Lol! Anyhoo, back to doing school work. it's 11:42pm. I know i will be up all night.</span></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-24880243794936404602013-04-02T18:57:00.000-07:002013-04-02T18:57:04.480-07:00iPhone 5 Is coming to TMobile Customers<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me briefly explain my frustrations and excitement...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a BIG T-Mobile
fan (and still is) and was a customer of T-Mobile since 9th grade in high
school. Since the iPhone 4 was released I was hoping and praying that T-Mobile
would be given the opportunity to sell Apple's iPhone and make it available on
their network. During that time I was getting tired of the constant Android and
Blackberry OS platform that dominated the mobile device world (aside from
Blackberry downfall in their OS system.). Some say that Apple's iOS is boring
and the Android "Jelly Bean" platform is more interesting but for me
that wasn't true.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After spending about
$500 for switching from T-Mobile network (in which I still owe $300+ left to
pay and recently missed a payment) to Sprint network and to hear 2-3 months
later that T-Mobile will be getting Apple's iPhone 4, 4s and 5 when my contract
ended in December of 2013; I was highly annoyed. T-Mobile and I have this
love/hate relationship on Twitter. Anyhoo, Sprint has good customer service but
at some in-store service centers I do believe that the staff has racist
undertones to their staff; that's just from my experience.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm excited that
T-Mobile is receiving the iPhone because it will bring sales, customers and a
better network. It took them a while to get it I think because of legal actions
between AT&T and Apple didn't want to give T-Mobile the satisfaction (from
what I've heard) and didn't want to reduce the functionality of their phone and
make an alternate version of it as well. From a business point of view I
completely understand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I chose this article
to blog about because I had complex emotions about it. What can I say; I get
kind of emotional when it comes to technology and money. Very geeky right? Lol!
All jokes aside I thought that this was very exciting news for T-Mobile, the
brand and for their loyal customers. I may not be a T-Mobile contract customer
anymore but I do support their business (even though their service stores are
as dry as the Sahara desert. Their in-store staff is very humble, friendly,
inviting and humorous.).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you don't believe me just read the article by clicking <a href="http://newsroom.t-mobile.com/articles/t-mobile-unleashes-iphone-5" target="_blank">HERE</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-76035889698509488992013-03-26T12:24:00.000-07:002013-03-26T12:24:00.243-07:00Bullies...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
High school for me was a time that i took to discover who i
am and what i stand for. Heal some wounds and live to tell about it. Some
people don't find things out until they're older. It kind of makes me glad that
i found that out early on. Sometimes i feel like I’ve grown up too quick. I
think we all feel that way when we're adults; too old to have fun and too young
to be grown.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before graduation and prom i was just so worried about
graduating. I was just so tired mentally with all the stress. There wasn't a
day where i wasn't stressed or driving home with an headache. The people around
me weren't who I thought they were; all my friends became distant shadows. Even
the people who I've helped turned their back on me. That's where my trust
issues stem from.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Towards the end of high school I started to realize a lot of
things. For example; I had a gym class and it was this boy named Thomas McGee.
At the time I didn't know his name at the time; I just seen his face. One day
during gym class me and Sandy was working out and we walked passed him and he
said something to me that I didn't hear but Sandy did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sandy said "Did you hear what he said?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said "No I didn't hear him say anything. What did he
say?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said "He said 'You're a bitch'"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spoke in such shock because I don't know him and I haven't
spoken to him. I was so confused because I couldn't understand the reason why
he would say that. So I said to Sandy "Well, I’ll listen a little closely
next time we walk pass him."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we proceed to walk around the gym. When we walked passed
him I heard him say it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said to myself "Don't get mad Jae. Graduation day is
near. You'll be out of this hell hole in a couple of weeks."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the class was over and I went to the locker room. I
stayed in my gym clothes because gym class was my last class. Everybody was in
line waiting for the bell to ring. I walked pass him and he said<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"You little bitch!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and I said tense tone "You need to check your dick
before you start to talk about anybody being a bitch!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He seemed so confused and said "I need to whip out my
dick?!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was frustrated so I began to repeat what I said then I
stopped myself and I said "I'm not going to repeat myself. I'm not a tape
recorder where you can just rewind me. I'm done!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked of agitated and annoyed because I was so tired of
people talking to be recklessly. I had a lot of built up anger towards people.
I was bullied for years and for a split second I asked myself<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Why does this keep happening to me? I'm so
tired."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the time I was nineteen years old. I didn't have time to
cry because I was so above and beyond angry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bell rang and I proceeded to call my friend Ashley. I
was telling her what's going on until he walked pass me and called me out my
name for the third time. A split second after that I just blacked out. I didn't
fight him but I did yell at the top of my lungs and just let my anger take
over. I was screaming all through the hallways, slamming my locker until I got
outside to smell the city air then I calmed down. Once I got into the car with
my mom she asked "Are you okay?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I quickly said "I'm fine." I’m sure that my mommy
could still sense the annoyance and the frustration off of me. It was an odor
to it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day of school I walked in and the security guards
knows me because I don't get into trouble. I've never been suspended in my
life. The female security guard pulled me aside after going through the metal
detector and said "I need to talk to you."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a concerned tone I said "Why? What did I do?!"
she said "Don't worry; we just need to talk."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So she took me to her office and proceeded to ask me
"What happened yesterday? I mean whit you and Thomas."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked her "Who is Thomas?" confused as ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said "The boy you gotten into the argument with
after school."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said "Oh! His name is Thomas?! I never knew his name
until now because I never talked to him. I just know him by his face."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The security guard goes to tell me "Well, his mother
called me yesterday saying that you sexually harassed him."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When she said that my eyes gotten bigger than golf balls in
shock. She proceeds to say "His mother said that you told him that he
needed to whip out his dick."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stopped her and said "No! That's NOT what I
said."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She asks "Well, what did you say?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said "I said that he needs to CHECK HIS DICK before
he starts to talk about somebody being a bitch."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
so I proceed to tell her the entire story and she concluded
by saying "So basically you confronted him."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said in a annoyed tone "Yes!" so I went on to
speak my mind because I was tired of being bullied. A person saying that
someone sexually harassed him or her is an serious offense; people get sued for
that. I was nineteen years old. I was legal at that point. I wasn't about to
get sued and possibly go to jail because of someone lying on me and bullying
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went on to say to the security guard "I've been in
this school for 4 years straight; haven't gotten into it with anybody until
now. Do you find it kind of odd that people are bullying me?" I wanted her
to understand that I am the victim and I’m tired of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After that day I looked down on him as a person because he
hit below the belt when it was unnecessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After nineteen years of being bullied at the time. I got
tired; I’ve reached my breaking point. It makes me want to keep my distance
from people as much as I love to socialize. If Thomas said that I sexually
harassed him then what will be the next extreme, Rape?! Now I have to watch out
for people who plan to discredit my character; it's difficult. It’s bad enough I
had to deal with bullying on the streets. I got lucky that time; I could have
been dead in broad daylight. Mind you; this is only one of many stories. I'm
twenty four now; I can only expect the worst. It's a depressing thing when you
have no sunlight coming through after your dark storms; just a gloomy fog.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bullying is not just confined to schools and children and teens. It has spread-ed to colleges, adults and among social media. It saddens me to see countless suicides among teens. I almost committed suicide but i had a friend at the time who snapped me of out it. In a sense i'm starting to believe that bullying is a mental disease that society refuses to have a cure to. We will learn; soon i hope.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-16003057459624721952013-03-19T11:59:00.001-07:002013-03-19T11:59:48.232-07:00"Justice Delore"Who is Justice Delore? What is Justice Delore?<br />
<br />
Well, Justice Delore is a name (in which is not an alter ego) i personally created out of being a fan of music and fashion. If i was able to brand myself as a person "Justice Delore" would be the brand name. The name "Justice" came from being a BIG Janet Jackson fan. Janet Jackson played the character "Justice" in the 1993 movie "Poetic Justice"<br />
<br />
*Here's the movie poster. Courtesy of Wikipedia.com*<br />
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e2/Poetic_Justice_%281993_movie_poster%29.jpg/220px-Poetic_Justice_%281993_movie_poster%29.jpg" /><br />
<br />
I related so much with the character that "Justice" became the first name. The last name "Delore" came from my love for fashion. "Delore" does rhyme with Couture. I absolutely love Louis Vuttion and Burberry fashions. Their not just everyday fashion they both have couture attributes to their fashion. I even keep tabs on blogs like "<a href="http://beautifullytwistedmind.com/" target="_blank">Beautifully Twisted Mind</a>" which is a fashion blog on Tumblr. I've been mentioned on their blog a while back so, make sure you say "Hi!" to them and tell them "JusticeDelore" sent you. They're really nice and informative about fashion.<br />
<br />
Anyway, my personal style reflects who i am. Soft spoken with an edge as i can describe it at the moment. :] I have turquoise hair... that should be enough craziness from one person who live in a conservative, urban area. Lol!<br />
<br />
Now, don't get me wrong; my government name Johnathan Davenport is a very lovely name yet extremely long and takes up a lot of space on paper. Johnathan is an Hebrew name which means 'messenger from God'. In many ways i can see that from a personal perspective. As people might discover; my last name Davenport means a sofa that converts into a bed. How cute is that? But my last name is a North West English name according to my online research. i've been told by my mother that my family traces back to Germany (i'm mixed race by the way). So i have a very unique family background.<br />
<br />
Justice Delore is the same as Johnathan Davenport just with a different name (hints the same initials). Truth be told i have many nicknames. From "Jae" to "Bumblebee" Lol! Justice Delore is just a name that i created for myself; that's all.<br />
<br />
My question for you is what is your nickname? Leave a comment and your crazy story behind it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159736777235286231.post-32020581240189541782013-03-18T12:07:00.001-07:002013-03-18T12:07:27.019-07:00Writing first, Blogger secondThis is my first blog. Im kinda nervous. Lol! Anyway, recently I purchased an iPhone Stitch case from Amazon.com and as adorable as it was; it didn't fit my phone correctly so I contacted the seller to see if I can exchange it and they let me. I exchanged it for this ice cream melt case. I thought it was cute and cool. Not just cute and cool but it protects my phone buttons; except the power/sleep button. :( Check the pictures of me being goofy with my cool case and let me know what you think. And what was your favorite cell phone case" <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWy-MypJ33TswiFG0J6Q2fujgHQ2bSZ7uWWbfS0sGJ8v7KcPrwspxbwAMFwyy7FPgXC0Qb1vYX9auNA2gsxsfgCREuTotTZJj-etu0AWe8pJY4vFk92RMWTZ4_wUwND9PdIuf8G8wG30/s640/blogger-image--2033041000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWy-MypJ33TswiFG0J6Q2fujgHQ2bSZ7uWWbfS0sGJ8v7KcPrwspxbwAMFwyy7FPgXC0Qb1vYX9auNA2gsxsfgCREuTotTZJj-etu0AWe8pJY4vFk92RMWTZ4_wUwND9PdIuf8G8wG30/s640/blogger-image--2033041000.jpg" /></a></div> <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw53a0oAOco0DwwH7pQBLZwA70C6IVdHso_K-ednU4Ng5DmOCHCXiAEEpGHCzbimytnZwsTSMObtnGVrOFsGqu_qWJpHgZEETxn5XEwTFZCtjHvxJQyi2zUQapTDJZg5w-DbEIBFhjlUY/s640/blogger-image-1474410280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw53a0oAOco0DwwH7pQBLZwA70C6IVdHso_K-ednU4Ng5DmOCHCXiAEEpGHCzbimytnZwsTSMObtnGVrOFsGqu_qWJpHgZEETxn5XEwTFZCtjHvxJQyi2zUQapTDJZg5w-DbEIBFhjlUY/s640/blogger-image-1474410280.jpg" /></a></div> <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXLFnfmPEwwsl0v3y6am_tQuLr304gRocqt532ghfkU0Tsz7PchRORTLI_FdQGUjAX_QYOW_uId8rYzxVseaFs-5_2yXmY9MXWjXWEuWCmr1KZB2NgRdzK5cs8ZTxMn1YvIAKda-ou4j8/s640/blogger-image-2105676833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXLFnfmPEwwsl0v3y6am_tQuLr304gRocqt532ghfkU0Tsz7PchRORTLI_FdQGUjAX_QYOW_uId8rYzxVseaFs-5_2yXmY9MXWjXWEuWCmr1KZB2NgRdzK5cs8ZTxMn1YvIAKda-ou4j8/s640/blogger-image-2105676833.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08959935555983292965noreply@blogger.com0Detroit Detroit42.3864 -82.964119